Bittersweet Surrender
by KricketWilliams
Summary: Examining their relationship leads to bittersweet consequences. More bitter than sweet? Based sort of on a song, and a whim! As always, I don't own a thing.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_AN: My story fairy really likes angst. _

Penelope was set to fly. She had her laptop under her right arm, a pile of files that needed to be entered under the left. She was going to have a quiet Friday night at home, finishing up this stuff. The week was kind of tough; it was an incredibly gruesome case that they just wrapped up. The hardest thing would be scanning in the pictures before they went into the FBI archives. Reading about it was bad enough, actually seeing the pictures is what caused the nightmares for her.

Thinking about nightmares automatically brought her to thinking about her best friend. Sir Derek, the brave and courageous co-leader of their team, had a long and complicated history with her. She was there when he had to face horrors from his past, he was there when she almost died after being shot. There was a true love there; they even said it to one another.

She smiled a bit more, hiking the files that were slipping closer to her side. God had a funny sense of humor, putting them together. He was a player, gorgeous beyond reason, with a sculpted six pack of muscles. She was not beyond admitting she salivated over him before.

And her? Well, she was a geek, a bit chubby, but awfully cute too- according to her boyfriend Kevin. They were from completely different worlds, but they clicked like nothing ever in her life before. It was magic when they were together, he made her smile, she made him smile. He made her feel beyond special; he made her feel loved.

At one time in her life, she seriously thought about pursuing him. She nixed that thought almost immediately. _Dream on, Penelope_, she thought, watching him stream by with one leggy supermodel after another. They went out as a group, and throngs of women were there, begging him to dance. She was lucky if one person looked at her twice.

But what she had with him, what she loved, was too special to ruin with all that relationship business, anyway. They would always be together, always be friends, no matter what. She was there through his _girlfriends du jour_, and he was here the entire two years she dated Kevin.

Funny, though. Derek never seemed to like Kevin. He refused to go out, if "Lynch" was in the group. He never called Kevin by his first name when he did meet with him. Kevin seriously thought that Morgan (He wasn't going to call him "Derek" either!) was about the rudest individual that ever graced this planet.

"I don't know what you see in him, Penelope darling," Kevin said, sighing. "He's a pompous, arrogant piece of –"

Kevin never got to finish a negative about Derek; Penelope wouldn't allow it. He knew better than to insult Morgan in front of Penelope after two years. It was one of the few things they truly argued about. Kevin knew that in her life, Derek would always come first. As a friend, of course.

Derek didn't have as many qualms about ripping on Kevin. He was much more clever about it than Kevin. He didn't come right out and blast Kevin, he did it in subtle ways that Penelope didn't catch until she was about to hang up the phone. "Going out with Lynch tonight? That should be a _blast. _Good night, baby girl; you'll be home before ten."

It was almost funny. Morgan was one of the most personable men she ever met. But when he didn't like someone, he really didn't like them. She thought that it was because he was being like a big brother, all defensive over her. He was very protective of everyone on the team. He hated to see the crew hurting.

Actually, he hated seeing anyone hurting. It was the cause of the only real argument they had in history. His caring heart reached out to a victim's sister, Tamara Barnes. It was not allowed, it could jeopardize the case if he became involved. Also, she worried about the state of mind of the victim's sister, once Derek disappeared after the case was done. She'd be lost and alone again.

Derek was angry, thought she was out of line for calling him out. He assured her that she was worrying about nothing. That he "wasn't involved." She believed him. Derek never lied to her. Not in five years.

She decided to stop by his office, to say goodbye for the night. She opened the door. Derek was on his phone, smiling, holding a silver cross in his hand. She saw that before, but didn't know what it was or where it came from. One of many "things she didn't know about him", he told her.

She was about to say something when she heard what he said. "Yeah, baby, I'll stop by. Thanks for last night, it was special."

She blushed a little. She didn't want to hear Morgan with a conquest. Then she heard the rest. "Okay, Tamara. Later."

The slipping files hit the floor, along with her stomach. He_ lied_ to her!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_AN: Moving right along. I will answer reviews right after this. Thanks so much… remember, sooner or later, they'll have a HEA. It's in my blood!_

Derek heard the commotion before he saw it. His baby girl was bent over, her cute little butt up in the air, picking up a pile of files that were scattered in his doorway. He watched her for a second, then let out a low whistle. "Now that's a nice view," he said, grinning at her wickedly. She stood up quickly, her cheeks flushed from her task. He started walking around his desk to go help her pick it up.

"Don't talk to me like that! Don't talk to me at all," she growled, going back to her task. He squatted by her, grabbing forms and handing them to her. She ripped them out of his hands, glared at him, then furiously started grabbing the rest of the papers. She was clutching them in a cluttered mess, which was not Penelope's usual manner at all.

He couldn't figure out what the problem was. Originally, he thought she might be teasing about what he said, but he realized quickly that wasn't the case. "Baby girl, what's the matter?"

She didn't even look up at him. She continued to grab the files, growling at him under her breath. He reached over to grab her hands, to still them, so she would stop what she was doing and pay attention to him. She pulled her hands away like he burned her. "Don't touch me!"

"Garcia," he said in a low tone, anger brewing behind his voice. "Stop being childish; tell me what is wrong."

She looked at him again, pursed her lips, and went back to picking up the papers.

"Fine," he said, walking back to his desk. "Be that way. Your loss." He shot that last sentence over his shoulder. He knew that would get a response. If he knew her at all- and he really knew her better than anyone on this earth - that would get a response from her.

"Derek Morgan, you suck!" she said, standing up with the last of her files. "You liar! I don't want to speak to you ever again."

"What? I'm not a liar," he said, completely confused. He sat at the edge of his desk, looking over at her with a rumpled brow. "Will you please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"You told me you weren't involved. 'Trust me; I'm not involved," she mimicked his voice the best that she could.

Understanding dawned on him. She heard his conversation. "Oh," he said. "That."

"You… you… Benedict Arnold!" she spat absolutely furious that he acted like it was no big deal that he lied like a rug to her!

He rolled his eyes. "Baby girl, what you said. That doesn't make me a liar."

"Don't call me--"

He interrupted her. She really was being ridiculous. "When I told you that, I wasn't involved. I waited until the case was closed, then I called her. We've been dating for a little while. I just haven't had the time to tell you." He held up the silver cross, "This was her brother's."

Her heart clenched a little bit. She asked about that, but he wouldn't tell her. She didn't exactly know why her heart was hurting so much, but she felt like it was going to wrench from her chest and run away. He didn't tell her then when she asked; he wanted his secret. She was his best friend!

Still, she just knew that he shouldn't be doing that, shouldn't be going with that woman. She had to tell him, without a doubt. "You know that's a bad idea! A victim's sister," she spat.

She was looking at him like he was something very low that slinked by her shoe. This was starting to really piss him off. "Look, Garcia, this is not a problem. I was concerned that it would be an issue, so I asked. Now that the case is closed, this is a non-issue."

"Derek, it's wrong, it's stupid, it's-"

"Garcia, what is the problem with you? Why I am defending my relationship to you is beyond me," he said, exasperated. "I am allowed to have a life, too. Are you jealous or something?"

She sucked in a breath like he slapped her. "You prick!" she said, turning and leaving him standing there, in rather stunned silence.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_AN: Back to angst…._

_That Son of bitch!_ She thought, driving far quicker than the speed limit. Of all the arrogant, pompous things to say! Jealous? She wasn't jealous. She was concerned, she cared, she tried to help him, and she gets accused of being jealous? But she was most certainly NOT jealous.

She harrumphed. She was done with him. Enough of this crap. He wanted to keep his little secrets, his little "necklace" and secret girlfriend, more power to him! He wasn't going to be a best friend to her, then she wouldn't be a best friend to him either. She can't believe he wouldn't share something like that with her, that he…

A tiny little voice in the back of her head was speaking to her. _Maybe he didn't want to tell you because you reacted poorly the first time. _

"Nonsense," she said out loud to her steering wheel. But somewhere, deep down, she knew the voice wasn't exactly wrong. Her heart, and her car, both slowed down.

_Why, Pen? Why did you react poorly?_

"I was concerned," she said, but her voice didn't sound quite as certain.

Then she knew it. She knew it with every beat of her heart. Caverns below, somewhere basic that she didn't want to dwell, she was jealous. She was afraid of losing him, his friendship, to someone that he really cared about.

She was spoiled. She had Derek to herself for five years, her only true confidant, the one person she was absolutely sure loved her. She knew it; she didn't want to share something that special to her.

He had women, lots and lots of women, but not one that he didn't tell her about. He told her about each floozy he dated: she would laugh at their antics, how they approached him, their lines that they said. Her calling him a chocolate Adonis was nothing in comparison to what some of these ladies said to him!

But never in all those years was there anyone serious. Now, he was serious enough that he would inquire about the regulations and if it was appropriate yet to date her. He would keep a necklace special and secret.

It wasn't that she wanted him to be alone. She wanted Derek to have all the love in the world. He should fall totally, completely, in love with someone. He deserved only the best, nothing else would do for him in her book.

But then her heart ached again. She had Kevin, but it wasn't that kind of love. Morgan would never, ever, be replaced by Kevin. Derek was number one to her, always would be. He was that important to her. Now, for the first time in five years, real insecurity threatened her.

Was she important enough to him for that same thing?

She gave up a long time ago that she would be the woman that he would fall that hard for. It was a pipe dream, she knew it. He deserved perfection, and would most likely get it. He was going to end up with a woman who looked like a playboy bunny, thought like Albert Einstein, and made Mother Theresa look petty. And she was jealous. Damn jealous of a woman that would get that love. Derek would fall hard someday; he was passionate about work, passionate about family, passionate about their friendship.

And some lucky bitch was going to have that.

She felt bitterness, bile rising in her throat at the same time as tears. She swallowed hard, blinking back the moisture.

And she hated herself for it.

She was over that with him, over it a very long time ago. When she saw him dance with five women at one time, when he dated gorgeous bimbo after bimbo, when he came into work late after an all-nighter; she was over it. When not one woman, not one out of at least twenty that he went out with, was less than perfect in looks and body.

She was not, nor ever would be, Derek Morgan's type.

But love him, she did. Like a best friend, forever and ever. Nothing would change that. And she hurt him. It wasn't that she wasn't somewhat justified in her anger. But she shouldn't have resulted in name calling.

Nothing sucked as much as that moment when she knew she was completely wrong. She turned her car around and headed towards Morgan's place. She had to apologize, to do damage control, before she lost what she had left with him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_AN: So sorry--for some reason, I am not getting the reviews in my home email. When I do, I will respond. I think my email server is being an idiot._

Derek couldn't believe what happened this afternoon. The woman who mattered more to him than anyone, the one he was closest to in this world, just called him a _liar_ and a _prick_ and stormed out of his office. It absolutely hurt, she completely misjudged him.

So he didn't tell her right away. He'd been weighing things in his mind about Tamara. Originally, he didn't know what he was going to do with her. He liked her. She was a kind person, a good person. She was also nice to look at.

He also thought a lot about what he needed to do with his life. He was pushing forty; it was time to think about settling down. Being a player at thirty-five was a lot different than being a player at forty. He started to think he'd be a dirty old man at sixty, shaking it on the dance floor like he had it going on still. He shuddered at the thought.

Fact is, two years ago, he was ready. He was in love. But the girl wasn't willing. He told her, she told him; it should've been a done deal. Nope, she wanted stinking Lynch instead. He seriously thought she would change her mind, that she would come to him and say she loved him again, but she didn't.

He even kind of waited. Rather pathetically for two stinking years. He wasn't celibate, he dated the most unsuitable women out there for the occasional "stress release," but she stayed with Lynch. She seemed to actually _love_ Lynch. It killed him slowly, every time he saw them together.

He laughed, a bitter ugly laugh. Out of all the women in this world that wanted him, he had picked one who didn't.

Enter Tamara in his life. She played to his nurturing side, his caring side, which he absolutely loved. He needed closure, he needed to move on. And he was finally ready, so damn ready, to be over Garcia. She could have her Lynch, he could have Tamara, they could have their friendship, and life would be great.

But that was before she pulled this jealous crap that she did today. What was she doing? She didn't want him, not like that. She made that abundantly clear. But he wasn't supposed to have a life? It was fine, as long as it was a tramp, but someone decent wasn't good for him? Fuck her!

Just then, he heard the knock on the door. Great. He was definitely not in the mood for company. Not now.

It took all the power in Garcia to knock on his door. She wasn't looking forward to eating crow. And Morgan looked like he wanted to tear someone's head off. Never had she seen him in such a foul mood before.

"Derek, I'm sorry. You were right. I was jealous," she said in one breath. He was still glaring at her.

"You're forgiven. Go home."

"No, Derek," she said, her heart breaking a little more. " I have to tell you. See, I was jealous that I wouldn't have you as a friend anymore, that I would lose you. You mean so much to me." She shut his door, obviously not leaving. She took off her jacket and threw it aside. "We need to talk."

"Talk," he growled menacingly at her. "Let's talk." He took a step closer to her, backing her against the door. "I finally decide to have a real relationship, with a woman I want to see more than once, and you decide I shouldn't have that chance. That I should sit around, doing nothing."

Oh boy, she made a big mistake; she should've left when she had the chance. Before this all went horribly wrong. He was absolutely fuming. "Derek, I should go," she tried to say.

"Oh no, baby girl," he said, holding her back. "Let's hash this out, shall we? It's absolutely fine for you to have a real relationship, to flaunt fucking Lynch for two years, as I stay along as a friend. But when I try to have someone, I'm the bad guy?"

Her mouth fell open and close like a fish out of water. _Where the hell did that come from? _she wondered. She never said that, not like that! Quickly, the anger was building. This time, she didn't try to tamp it down.

_Kevin again?_ He always resorted to Kevin! "Well, at least I didn't lie about Kevin, or hide Kevin from you, or act like a different person when I got together with Kevin!"

"This is such bullshit," he scoffed. "You're so full of it-"

"You did, Derek," she cried. "I tried to decorate your office, do our fun friendship stuff, and you pushed me away! You changed, because of her!"

There was a huge amount of passion burning between them. The air was crackling with electricity, and both were beyond angry to something else that they couldn't explain. Neither of them were making much sense to anyone but themselves. Sensible went out the door.

"Oh, go to hell, Penelope," he swore. "You changed too, with Lynch!"

"What do you have against Kevin?" she yelled. Then she thought about it for a second, and it hit her. She knew exactly what the problem was. She started to laugh. "Oh, God, Morgan; _you're_ the one who's jealous! Of Kevin, of all people!"

"Fuck no!" he was warning her; he was at his limit.

"For two years, you've been a bastard to Kevin, and I couldn't figure out why!" she questioned him. She finally had the upper hand, the floor, the attention. "Tell me Derek: what does Kevin have that you don't?"

He growled, taking a step closer, pinning her with his gaze. Anger was radiating in waves off of him. "He has a lot of things, baby girl, that you couldn't possibly understand, even though I am the better man all around."

She knew she shouldn't say it, there was too much tension, too much pain already. She could feel the passion there, they were about to ignite. Intelligence said to walk away. She didn't need to thrust a challenge out there. But she wasn't always intelligent. "A better man?" she taunted.

There was deathly silence around them; you could hear a pin drop.

"Prove it."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_AN: Warning: strong sexual content coming up, for those with tender sensibilities!_

For a moment, Derek stood there, drawing his breath in, trying to tamp down the absolute aggression that he was feeling. It was hot, passionate, and it was making him crazy. He ran a hand over his face, disgusted with himself. Then he did the only thing he could think of to shut her up, the only thing he really wanted to do for the past ten minutes. His mouth crashed down on hers.

His lips were hard on hers, demanding full access to her mouth. The absolute rush of feeling that hit her forbade her from any protesting. It was exhilarating, almost frightening in intensity. She opened her mouth, and the thrust of his tongue against hers caused shivers to run down her spine. Never in her life had she been kissed like this.

The pressure of the kiss varied then, drawing her deeper into his spell. She felt drugged, liquid warmth pooling all over her body. It was hard to think of anything besides his soft lips on hers. She actually started to sway on her feet, she felt so boneless from his kisses.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tip toes, trying so hard to get closer to him. He sensed what she needed. His hands gripped her bottom and pulled her close to him, his thigh in between hers giving her added support. One hand came up to cup her breast, the other pressed her higher, harder onto his thigh. She could feel the heat of his arousal against her hip, hard and insistent. She couldn't help it; a moan escaped her lips.

Pushing her against the door, he continued to kiss her neck, sucking, licking, even gently biting with a passion that he didn't know he contained. He pushed her multilayer skirt out of his way, needing to get under that fabric. His hand then found the edge of her panties; with a flick of his wrist, the fabric tore. She gasped in surprise as his long fingers found her softest flesh, the remnants of her undergarment sliding onto the floor.

He captured her mouth again, drawing her deeper into his seduction with each stroke of his tongue, each caress of his fingers over her wetness. She was moaning in earnest now, nothing could've kept her quiet.

"Tell me no, Penelope," he groaned near her ear, his hot breath burning her sensitive skin. "Tell me to stop."

She just turned her head to capture his lips again, to beg for more from him. Wrong or right, she needed this, wanted this, with every breath in her body.

Something must've snapped in him. His movements grew more aggressive; he kissed her harder, deeper. She felt him flip open the button of his jeans, draw down his zip. He looked straight at her, his eyes hot, hooded. He muttered, "Wrap your legs around me."

She quaked with want, but worry crept in too. "I'm too hea-" she started to say, but the look on his face absolutely stopped her. There was no argument. She needed to comply, wanted to comply more than anything. She raised her left leg, to hook it around his hip.

Roughly, he pulled her other leg up, settling her against the door, before thrusting hard into her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on as he reared into her. First, his movements were slow, steady, then faster and faster, stroking endlessly. He groaned, a guttered sound against her neck, a fine sheen of sweat coating his brow.

"Oh, my God, baby girl," he moaned, bracing her on his legs as he continued to thrust over and over. The feel of her was something he knew he would never forget. She was so tight, sweet, everything he needed. He could fall hard for her, even harder than he already had. She was perfect for him.

"Derek!" she screamed, and he felt her convulse around him, pulsing and tightening, trembling in his arms. There was nothing more beautiful in the world than his goddess in the throes of ecstasy. That was his last thought before he gave himself over to her, body and soul, in an earth shattering climax.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_AN: Well…It will get better, I promise…. Hang in there!_

For a moment, Derek just held onto her, trying to think, to absorb what just happened to them. His heart was pounding in his ears, and he knew it had absolutely nothing to do with the exertion that they both had. He had a bit of shock, but also a bit of peace. Finally, he showed her exactly how he felt.

But on the skirt of that, there was fear there too. She wanted it, he knew she did, but was it for the same reasons he had? He highly doubted that. He wanted to meld with her, to become part of her so much that there was no room for Lynch, no room for anyone else. That pounding in his heart was becoming a definite ache.

Unfortunately, the only thing he knew for certain, was that their friendship as they knew it was permanently over. And more than that, he didn't want to go back. He would never forget what it felt like holding her, kissing her, being inside her. How could he just be a friend? No, he did not want that.

But the important question was: what did she really want?

So, he rested, his hand against the door, caught his breath, and did something he rarely did. He hoped and prayed for once in his God-forsaken life, he was the lucky one.

Reality returned, grim and unwanted, far too soon. Her feet touched the ground, and with that, she realized they never even removed their shoes. She was fully dressed, except for a breast that was tugged out of her low cut blouse and her panties that lay torn on the ground. A massive amount of shame, of guilt, rode over her.

She taunted him. She teased him, teased his manhood, and this is what she got for it. She wasn't proud of what she did. She loved him, she always dreamed of making love to him. But she didn't want him like this, out to prove a point. Never like this. She knew in that instant that everything changed; nothing would ever be the same between them.

He didn't say a word, he just leaned with one hand against the door over her right shoulder, breathing heavily. His eyes were closed, like he was trying to come to grips with something. He reached down to refasten his pants, then took a step back from her. There was obvious regret in his eyes. "Penelope, I-"

"No, it's okay, Derek," she said, attempting damage control. Maybe she could salvage some of their friendship? "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just forget it."

"Forget it?" he said, his eyes flashing anger before his face grew shuttered. "Yes, we wouldn't want anyone to know we fucked, now would we?"

She looked at him, and her stomach plummeted. She felt like vomiting, but she kept it under control. She winced at his words. So she really was just another conquest to him. Out to prove his manhood. Like he was tallying sexual partners, she thought. _Morgan:612, Garcia: 4._

She refused to let him know how hurt she felt. "Yes. That's right."

"You do realize I just came in you," he said, like he was commenting on the weather. He was cold, emotionless, almost cruel. "Are you on the pill?"

The crudeness of what he said hit her hard. He certainly didn't want a baby from her; having sex with her was obviously the biggest mistake of his life. "No," she said, tears rising in her eyes. She tried her best to tamp them down.

"You use nothing with Lynch?" he growled at her.

"Of course I do!" she yelled back. She wanted to punch him, to throw herself against his chest and beat him, then beg him to hold her. She dragged a breath into her aching chest. "He does, too. I never expected this."

She didn't add that she never lost control so much with anyone that protection didn't even come up. She didn't add that even if she did think about it, everything felt so perfect from the moment he slid into her that she didn't want to stop. Couldn't stop. That he touched her heart, not just her body.

"You will let me know if anything happens," he said, interrupting her thoughts. It was not a question, it was a statement.

She needed to get out of here, and quickly, before she did something stupid, like cry a river in front of him. She quickly grabbed her purse, turned and opened the door. "Of course."

He never even turned to watch her go.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_AN: Getting better.... sometime help comes in the most unexpected ways...._

The next day in Derek's life was completely rotten. He drank a lot more than he normally did that night after she left, and then promptly passed out in his bed. He woke up the next morning with the worst hangover he had in years. He was in a funk, and he needed to end it.

First thing he did was take a shower. Next thing, he called Tamara and officially ended it. He didn't feel right being with her when he so quickly slept with another woman. He needed a love interest, but she wasn't it. He wasn't certain anyone would be it.

Then he worked out like a demon was chasing him, and ignored every call, every person he came in contact with. Like a fool, he checked his caller ID though, just in case Garcia called.

She didn't.

Monday, he went to work, because he was going to be as normal as he could be. If this was nothing to her, something to forget, then he was going to be that way too. He actually had a bit of an epiphany moment- so many women it was nothing to him; with Garcia, it was everything.

_Knock it off, you chump! _He scolded himself. _How many times do you need your ass kicked by that blonde?_

So, he walked into the BAU, like nothing happened.

"Derek, what's happened to Garcia?" Prentiss said, coming over to stand by him immediately. "Have you heard from her?"

"No," he said. It was true. He didn't speak with her the rest of that night. A feeling of dread filled him. "What happened?"

"She didn't show up. We got worried, because she's usually here first. So JJ called her," Prentiss shook her head, her brow knitting. "She told JJ she was sick, but JJ didn't buy it. Said she sounded off, distant… not Garcia."

He tried his best to hide the guilt he felt. He wanted to make her bleed, hurt like he did. Seems he succeeded. "Don't know anything. Sorry."

Prentiss gave him an odd look. "Morgan, did something happen between you two?"

"No," he said, a bit too quickly.

It dawned on Prentiss then. Her mouth dropped open wide. Then she narrowed her eyes at him. "Morgan, you-"

He shot her the dirtiest look he could. She immediately stopped talking. If he looked like he felt, he knew the reason why.

"Look," she said after a moment. "I am not getting involved, but that is a nice girl. Not one of your usuals."

"Lay off, Emily," he growled, walking away from her.

Of course. He was the bad guy in this. They would all think that. Yet she was the one who broke his heart. Over and over. For nearly three years running. Penelope, the sweet angel who tore his heart out of his chest and stomped on it.

"Derek," She said behind him.

_Oh great_, he thought. She followed him. He turned and glared at Prentiss.

She looked at him with sympathy, which surprised the hell out of him. "You need to talk, I'm here." Then she walked away.

Then, three hours later, a very unexpected face walked into his office. Kevin Lynch stopped in front of his desk, a perturbed look on his face. Looking up into Lynch's determined face, he knew something was wrong. Immediately he worried about Penelope again.

"Agent Morgan," he said, his nasal tone grating on Derek's ears. "I have something very important I need to discuss with you. Can you please step outside with me?"

Derek couldn't think of anything he'd dislike more than stepping out with Penelope's lover. But he was a glutton for punishment. "Sure thing, Lynch," he said. "Your wish is my thrill."

Kevin stepped aside to let Morgan lead the way out. He was fine walking in front of the shorter, rounder man. He didn't want to watch his stupid ass leave the building anyway. Once they got outside around the corner where the smokers usually stood, Derek turned.

"Alright, Lyn-"

He never saw it coming. Lynch sucker punched him, hard, right in the mouth.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_AN: Now we're getting somewhere!……Remember, sometimes we get help where we least expect it...._

"Get up! Come on, so I can punch you again!" Kevin said.

Derek had the unfortunate, surreal experience of looking up at Kevin Lynch while holding his very sore jaw. Not in a million years did Morgan ever think that Lynch would knock him flat. It would've been funny, if he wasn't so pissed about it.....

Then he thought about it for a minute. Lynch really had every right to punch him. He made love to his girlfriend, even though the girlfriend didn't see it that way. No, Penelope saw it as something much more base. Like scratching an itch. He poured out his heart and soul, she scratched an itch.

See? Yet again Lynch won. That geeky bastard bouncing back and forth on his feet like a prize fighter, dukes up, ready to sock him again, won. Never in his life did he hate someone like he hated Kevin right now.

"You won, Lynch," he said, sitting up. "You got your punch for me screwing her, now let it go."

Kevin looked stunned, stopping his bouncing. "You really are as stupid as a dos-based operating system! I never would've guessed that, you seemed a little brighter." He growled down at him. "So you know, idiot, I hit you because my girlfriend broke up with me because she said she cheated on me with someone. I figured it was you, you asshole."

Derek really was confused at this point. "Why'd she break up with you?"

Kevin didn't even bother to answer. He was turning red, he was getting so mad. It wasn't a nice combination with his pink checkered shirt and magenta and puce plaid tie. "Yes, I'm the one who loves her, worships the ground she walks on for nearly three years, and she breaks it off with me 'cause she had sex with you!" He actually kicked some dust at Derek.

"Listen, she-"

"I loved her, and she says she can't be with me, only wants you. Stupid thing is, she knows she'll never have you," he calmed down a lot then, and he lowered his fists. He just looked really, really sad. "She said she'd rather be alone than try to be with someone else."

Derek was digesting all the information that Lynch was saying. Dear God, did it feel good. He wanted to cheer, to hug Lynch for the good news. But looking at the other man, he couldn't do it. He knew all too well what it was like to lose.

He took a deep breath. "Kevin," he said, using the man's Christian name for the first time since he met him. "I love her. I have always loved her. I won't do wrong by her, I promise." He stood up and put his hand out to Kevin. "I am so sorry, man. And if you want to belt me again, go ahead."

Kevin just turned a sad little smile at him. "What's the use? She always put you first anyway," he actually smirked then. "I kinda knew this was coming, someday." He then shook Derek's hand. "Treat her right, or I'll level you."

"Yes, sir," Derek said, smiling somewhat, his jaw aching painfully still.

He had some work to do.

Penelope sat on her couch, her eyes puffy and red. She never cried so much in her entire life. She couldn't remember a time she cried more. She cried less after Battle shot her, for goodness's sake. She took another couple of aspirin. Her head ached like it was in a vise, and she was on short supply of Kleenex.

She lost her best friend. He hated her guts. What he said, she would never forget the coldness of what he said to her. She lost her boyfriend, although that was no big deal. She always knew Kevin wouldn't be forever. He was actually very nice to her, considering what happened. It surprised her that Kevin didn't seem that surprised.

"It's Morgan, isn't it?" he said, rather knowingly. But Penelope refused to comment. She didn't want anyone to know who it was that broke her heart so badly it was shattered. After all, she still had to work with both of them.

No wonder people warn against office fraternization!

She went to get a bag of peas to put on top of her throbbing head. It was so sore from crying. As she stood up, she heard a knock on her door.

"Go away," she yelled, holding her head. She was not in the mood at all for company.

"Garcia!" the bane of her existence called out. "Let me in."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9　

_AN: One more, I think, then we're done...._

She didn't say a word. She hoped he'd just disappear. Maybe a fairy with a big wand would come to her door, wave said wand and _*poof*! _No more Mr. Heartbreak---

"Garcia, come on," he begged.

She liked that. _Beg, you sucker, beg! _she thought viciously. He could beg all day; she wasn't going to let him in.

"I will stand out here and yell all day and night, yowling like a cat in heat."

She opened the door and glared at him. She was more mad than sad right now. "Listen. As far as I know, I'm not pregnant. That's the only reason you want to keep contact with me. So, if you don't mind, get the hell out of my doorway!" She went to slam it shut, but he put his foot in the way.

"Penelope, please," he said. "I know I don't deserve it, but-"

"No, you don't," she said, putting her hip into the door to shut it in spite of his foot being there.

"Would you stop being unreasonable?" he said, pushing the door open, easily sliding it and her.

"Get out, now," she growled.

He sighed. "Fine. We can lose a whole bunch more years that we could've been together, and then you can decide to talk to me. I'll still be waiting."

That gave her pause. Years that they could've been together…

"What do you mean years?"

"Penelope," he said, then stopped. He was trying to find the best way to mention all this, to bring everything in the open.

Then he realized, that was his problem in the first place. He should've told her when they made love. He should've told her when she went out with Lynch. He should've so many times.

He was going to tell her now.

"Years for me, Penelope," he said, feeling better than he felt for months. "I have loved you for years. Just before Battle shot you. You opened my eyes when you said I was too superficial to cross a bar for you. I really looked, and stopped teasing long enough to know what I really wanted."

"Years?" she said, her heart accelerating at the same time aching just a little bit more.

"Yes, years. I even told you, don't you remember? After I took you home from the hospital."

"Oh, Derek," she said. "I thought you meant it like we always meant it when we said it."

"I know how I always meant it, Penelope," he murmured, reaching out to hold her hands. "It wasn't what you thought."

Her heart was beating triple time. She wanted to just launch herself in his arms, but her heart and her pride wouldn't let her. She had to say what she really felt. "You hurt me, Derek. I never thought you would hurt me like that," she pulled her hands away and looked at him with wounded eyes. "You were so cold, so cruel."

"Penelope, I know I hurt you, more than I ever meant to." There was such intensity rippling through the air like electricity. "When we made love, I wanted to think that everything changed. It did change everything for me. I lost my heart to you, and my soul.

He drew in a deep breath and shook his head. "I tried to show you how much I loved you. But it backfired. I thought you didn't want me, that you wanted to forget it happened."

"But I thought you regretted it, that's why I said that!" she cried.

"I didn't know that, though," he said, shaking his head. "Instead, I chose to lash out, to try to make you ache like I ached. If I could take back all that I said, I would. I never want to hurt you, angel."

"I'm sorry, too," she said, tears in her eyes.

"Seems we cross purposes a lot, baby girl," he said with a bittersweet chuckle. He reached up to hold her cheek, stroke her neck lightly with the back of his fingers. "And you were right: I was jealous of Lynch. You said, 'What does Kevin have that you don't?'"

She couldn't help but smile at him. "I think I can guess now."

"I love you, sweetheart," he said, cupping her face in both hands. He leaned in to kiss her lips lightly. "Not like a friend, not like a buddy, and sure as hell not like a sister!"

She giggled a little bit, then reached up to hold him and kissed him too. "I love you too, Derek. Exactly like the man I was destined to love."

He smiled then held her tight. "God, I love you. I am so sorry for saying what I did, I know I don-"

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him hard, pressing herself against him as much as she could. It was a sensual kiss, one with all her tender ardor packed into it.

When she finally pulled away, he had a bemused expression on his face. "Did you just try to shut me up?"

She guiltily grinned at him.

"I can take the hint," he murmured against her lips, before capturing them, and her heart, in a passion-filled kiss.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_AN: Now we get to have a little fun. I think this is it, but cry epilogue and I will probably work on one. I do have another idea brewing, but for a different story. Warning, graphic again for you innocent souls…._

It didn't take more than a minute for Derek to want to deepen the kiss. There was something about kissing her that was so different from kissing any other woman. When he kissed her, this blend of hunger and want that was nearly devastating swept over him. There was incredible need there too, the need to possess her, claim her as his.

Not to mention the feel of her soft, sweet lips, a perfect match for him. He always knew they would be. He had so many fantasies about those lips of hers, fantasies that kept him up at night. Very carnal and base fantasies. He smiled a little as he kissed her, now he'd get to try them out!

She pulled away a little bit and looked up at him, confusion marring her brow. "What are you smiling about?"

He shot her a wicked grin, then brought his hands up to cup her face. His thumbs caressed her bottom lip, just slightly. His grin disappeared and desire flamed in his eyes. A thrill ran up her spine; he looked like he could absolutely consume her.

"Penelope," he said thickly, bringing his hands down her body to pull her so close to him she could feel his heartbeat. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

She knew the question was rhetorical; the next moment he was kissing her with abandon, making her whimper with need. They made their journey to her bedroom, clothes dropping carelessly on the way. He encouraged her to lay down, and he quickly followed, never breaking the drugging kiss that was driving her nearly insane with passion.

She wasn't going to get a reprieve; his lips moved to her neck and a whole new field of sensation opened up. She leaned back, trying to give him better access. When she felt like she couldn't take anymore, he finally pulled away.

Her eyes opened; he was gazing at her breasts with such intensity, it took her breath away. His hand came up to touch her, cupping the weight in his palm, his long fingers brushing over the peak. His mouth replaced his fingers, and her eyes closed again, reveling in the feeling of his warm mouth on her sensitive skin.

His other hand was toying with her legs. She was becoming greedy and desperate, opening her legs, arching her hips at him, trying to get his hand where she needed it most. "Please, Derek," she begged shamelessly. "Oh, please…. Oh, God, yes!"

She could feel him smiling against her breast; he was going to pay later for this! But right now, she was feeling much, much too good to complain. His fingers danced against her most tender flesh, stroking in perfect rhythm to his mouth on her breast. Less than a minute later, she was coming apart under his masterful hands.

She felt him slide up her body. She opened her eyes, she felt so sated, lethargic. "This is the way it should have been the first time," he growled before capturing her lips again. His tone was bittersweet. "You deserve to be loved, Penelope, worshiped. Every inch of you…"

His hand began stroking again, stoking the embers of the fire that was just sated in her. When he kissed his way back down her neck, past her cleavage, dragging his hot mouth over her stomach, she was back to being wound like a top, needing release. When his hands slid under her and his mouth replaced his fingers, she got that release, bigger and better than the first one.

Within moments, he was on her and in her, filling the aching void that she didn't even realize she had. She needed this man, needed him to complete her, she was so empty without him. He kissed her, his mouth sealing over hers with infinite tenderness and passion.

She was so limp, so languorous, she could barely move, yet that need began again. His hand moved between them, to increase that want that she had. "Come, sweetheart," he whispered against her ear. "Just one more time.."

The words inflamed her, sent her over the edge, into a throbbing, convulsing bliss, incredible spasms rocking her. He joined her that time, holding her so tightly that breath was nearly impossible.

Afterwards, he held her in his arms, and she held him back. "I am never going to let you go," he said softly.

She smiled a little and snuggled closer. "I'll hold you to that," she said, before sleep took her, knowing that she never had to worry for a second that he would break that promise.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11- The epilogue

Penelope was laying flat on her stomach, sleeping when she woke herself up snoring a little. She reached over to the nightstand to look at the alarm clock: eleven! Oh, God, she was late! She flipped over to wake Derek up, and saw nothing in the spot where he was.

Her heart started to jerk a bit. Did she just dream last night? She moved a little bit. No, she was too sore in certain spots of have dreamt what happened. Then she heard a little bit of commotion coming from the other room. She sighed a little bit, and relaxed back into the pillows. No reason to jump out of bed; she was already four hours late for work. What was a few more minutes?

She thought about last night and blushed a little bit. After they fell asleep, she woke up again in the middle of the night to warm kisses on her neck, her collarbones, her breasts. Lord, the man was insatiable! Not that she was complaining…

"Good Morning," he said, coming into the room carrying a mug of coffee and a muffin.

She sat up, gratefully accepted the coffee, took a big sip, and then said, "We are so late; everyone is going to worry."

He smiled, leaning over to kiss her forehead. "I called Hotch early and said that we both needed the day to recuperate."

Her mouth fell open. "You didn't!"

He grinned back, and she turned a very pleasant scarlet color.

"I am never going to be able to show my face there again," she groaned, handing him the mug again and laying back, her forearm over her eyes.

"Nonsense, my little drama queen. I'm not going to hide how much I love you. Besides," he said, a half grin. "I said we had to recuperate because we were both sick; you didn't let me finish."

"Oh you!" she said, sitting up quickly and whacking him with her pillow.

"Hey, the coffee! Don't spill the coffee," he said, standing up from the side of the bed.

He looked back at her, sitting there with the sheet around her waist, her upper torso completely bare. Interest flared again in his eyes, and she pulled the sheet up a bit more, blushing for a different reason completely.

"Derek," she said, smiling at him winsomely. Insatiable. Really, really insatiable.

"Okay, I understand, I'll be good," he said, taking her hand and making her stand up in front of him. His gaze swooped over her once, twice, lingering a little more that he should. He gave a low whistle. "Woman, you are a sight to behold."

She turned in his arms and gave him a gentle kiss. "Thank you."

He paused for a second, then sighed, handing her the coffee mug again. "Here, take a sip, then let's get you in the bath. I'll wash your back."

"Not my front?" she asked innocently.

The pained look he gave her was comical. "Get in the tub."

She burst out laughing. Life with him was going to be very interesting. She handed him the mug back. "Sure thing, hot stuff," she said, swinging her hips with more than a bit of exaggeration.

Watching her cute butt walk towards the bathroom, he smiled, thanking his lucky stars. He was trying to resist, he really was. He surrendered; there was no way he could fight against that! He thought about it and smiled. Definitely a sweet surrender.


End file.
